porrim-job:

when you poop youre not taking a shit

youre giving a shit to the toilet

deerpong:

bowlingforsoup:

how many haters does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they fear change, even if it can make the world a brighter place.

That was do deep I shit myself

cheesoisuncool:

eating is so hard what the hell you have to move your mouth up and down so many times

toothyhalcyon:

hannah-ler:

why do we say *pterodactyl noise* when we have no fucking idea what it sounds like.

i once read that the head of your penis is the same colour as your lips

does this mean troll penis heads are all black

but seriously who even came up with the concept of excreting waste in a porcelain bowl full of water

oh-my-godtier:

if cinderella’s slipper fit perfectly then why the fuck did it fall off in the first place

lostperdue:

just saw this post on 9gag

if basilisk fangs can destroy horcruxes, why didn’t harry explode when he got bitten