ive been playing pokemon for literally the past almost 14 hours nonstop (aka since i woke up) because ive had this nasty teamup of anxiety and depression creeping up on me and i could literally feel it so rather than focus on things happening on the internet ive just been listening to music on turntable and focusing on leveling up my team to face drayden and n and the elite four in order to try and not focus on it

unfortunately im done with pokemon for the night because im going to bed so now those feelings have pretty much jumped me so now im filled with the usual anxieties that im not worth anything, im not important to my loved ones, i annoy everyone, etc

not to mention the awful feelings that come from thinking about all the shitty things that have happened up to this point to cause me to feel this way and that cause me to not feel like its ever going to change because im just a stupid and annoying piece of shit and thats the real reason why people ignore me and why it always feels like nobody tells me anything ever and like they just dont want anything to do with me